R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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