Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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