I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
