we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
