i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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