yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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