Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
