from now on my penis is your penis
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize