i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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