im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
