i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
