i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
