Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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