DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
