Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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