it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
