Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
