When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
