oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
