But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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