Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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