good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
