How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
