I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
