i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
