You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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