I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
