May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Do vagina's smell?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
