But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
