STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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