Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize