I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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