I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
