Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
