I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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