Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
