yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
