His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
