I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have feelings that need drinking.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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