I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
