i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
