Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
