All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
