I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
