But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
