then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have feelings that need drinking.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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