Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Quick, to the slutcave!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
