i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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