This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
