At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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