I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
