1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
