i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
