Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
