I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm at about main and main street
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
