Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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