Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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