is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's just like the Real World with babies
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
