I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
