No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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