But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I puked a lego.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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