dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Im part way to drunk.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
