I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All the doctor said was why
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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