if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
